This weekend, I travelled from Boston, Massachusetts to the American Dream Mall for the Survivor 51 beach drop in East Rutherford, NJ, and after winning trivia with my new bestie Emilia (shoutout the Polish Pierogi Alliance), we were invited to attend an exclusive, advanced screening of the first episode of Survivor 51.
I’ve been a diehard Survivor fan since I was twelve years old, I’m currently writing my college thesis at UMass Boston on The Evolving Characterization of Survivor Contestants, and I’m the Executive Producer for Underground Games, so my life truly revolves around Survivor. After Jeff Probst spoiled the Survivor 50 firemaking challenge, I thought I had lost my chance at attending a live Survivor event forever, but this event was beyond my wildest dreams.
I must say, I’m very glad this event was at the American Dream Mall, because it definitely came in clutch for my impromptu shopping spree. After all, when I left South Station at 8 in the morning, I had no idea I’d be missing my return bus and making this dream come true. My past experience as the pit orchestra pianist for my old high school taught me many things, but especially this: all black looks pretty good on me.
When we entered, we got to take pictures with the 51 signage and mingle with the 51 players and the alumni. From Charlie Davis to Ethan Zohn, there were so many legends there, people I have looked up to since I was twelve years old. When I greeted Charlie, my favorite player of all time, I was reminded of the cameo my mom got me from him when I graduated high school, where he prided me on my potential and encouraged me to join the Boston Survivor community when I moved from my hometown of Fairfield, CT. I can’t believe how far I’ve come.
We were then called to our seats for a performance by the incredibly talented native Fijians. They performed a series of traditional island dances, and then the 51 contestants were called on stage for a conga line. Upon seeing this, I immediately went up to Tegwyth and asked the question on all our minds - “What about Rob Cestermino?” He, of course, was in the audience, and while I didn’t see his stare of disapproval, I know it happened. After this tragic reminder of the events of Traitors S4, the 51 players returned to their seats for a speech by the one and only Emmy award nominated host, Jeff Probst.
A chant of “Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!” which I was more than happy to join, conquered the room until Probst took the stage. I sat on the edge of my seat, clinging to his every word. The man who I’ve looked up to for the last eight years was here. In person. Right in front of me. And now I’m in a small room of people who are the first to see the premiere of the 51st season of my favorite show in the world.
Jeff Probst tells the crowd, “[Survivor’s] history. That’s our greatest asset.” And suddenly I’m reminded of my own.
I’m in the seventh grade, and my mom tells me after dinner that we should watch this show together about people starving on some island in Panama. I’m reluctant, but sit down. A man with gray hair named Terry is on a place called “Exile Island,” and he finds something called a “hidden immunity idol.” I lean back into the couch and get comfortable.
It’s my thirteenth birthday, and when I blow out the candles, I wish for Rick Devens to win Survivor Edge of Extinction. We then rush home from NYC to watch it, and I cry when he is voted out.
It’s the COVID-19 pandemic, and my mom and I are driving to Pennsylvania to get a dog. We spend the four hour car ride debating on names. “Ozzy! Like from Survivor!” Our favorite player. (Ozzy the dog is six years old now.)
Survivor 41 coming out a couple months after I did, and watching Dr. Evvie Jagoda and seeing the first openly out trans person on Survivor be confident, successful, and happy. I’m empowered to pursue the same for myself. I’m struggling with mental health in high school, but I keep going, if only to see who gets voted out each Wednesday night. Watching Survivor 45 and 46 during my senior year as I commit to UMass Boston and joking with my mom that I’ll be running into Jake O’Kane and Charlie Davis (and that I’ll lose my ability to say the letter R).
I’ve moved into my freshman year dorm, and I’m covering Tears on the Beach by Ben Katzman’s Degreaser on my keyboard and posting it to Instagram. Ben Katzman sees it and invites me to perform with him at his October 10, 2024 concert in Somerville, MA. He opens the door to the Survivor community. I meet a guy named Eric, who is humble, and kind, and loves to rock. We hang out again at the Brice & Wen Present event in December, and for the first time, I feel like I belong. That night, I got to play some challenges from the show, which I didn’t even know was happening that night, and I meet a woman named Kate, who tells me about how she built them all in her basement.
I attend a Survivor 48 premiere party in Medford, MA, after seeing an event page for it in the Survivor Fans of Boston Facebook group, and I get to play the challenges again. This time, there’s a guy who’s dressed like Jeff Probst manning each station. I am scrappy and eighteen, and I give him my best Jonathan Penner impression as I play “A Bit Tipsy.” I lose the challenge, but at the end of the night I ask the host how to become a “Jeff.” He directs me to fill out a form on the website.
I start listening to the “Making the Merge” podcast and find immense comfort and community in their Patreon. I get featured on their podcast for a review I did of the Trashy Annie Boston show, and they start calling me the Mayor of Boston. I get to meet up with the hosts, PD and Chase, at the Survivor Fan Cafe, and get to introduce them to Jake O’Kane, who I’ve met at a couple events now. I get a tattoo of the phrase "Million Hearts," short for Bhanu's quote, "I don't want to win a million dollars, I just want to win a million hearts." Another December has come and gone and Trashy Annie says that meeting me [at Brice & Wen events] was one of her favorite parts of the season and I’m invited to sing on stage with her at the Brice & Wen finale party in NYC. I’m filming my audition tape, and my friend Eric asks me to look at his. It’s way better than mine. I tell him to go send it yesterday.
It’s January, and I’ve just quit a job I hated. I get notified that I’ve suddenly been added to the Underground Games WhatsApp group. I wonder if it’s a mistake. I pray that it isn’t. No, it wasn’t a mistake - it was exactly what I needed. I don the blue shirt and start hosting events, including trivia. As the weeks go by, I get better with the microphone. I also start running our social media pages and like watching the follower count rise.
I get to perform again with Ben Katzman, and this time with Coach, who knights me on stage with the nickname, “Mirror Drake.” He says I’m the dragon that can’t be slain. I get home at 2am and then am at the Logan Airport to fly down to Atlanta. The Underground Games team is going to host three events, two of them at the Ron Clark Academy, where I’ve wanted to go since I watched EoE. After our first event, we went back to the AirBnB and hang out in the hot tub. Hope invites Wendell to come over, and I wonder where in my life did I make a right turn to be hanging out in a hot tub in Atlanta with Survivor winner Wendell Holland. At the Ron Clark Academy Season 50 watch party, I get to meet a ton of my heroes, including Rick Devens. I tell him to win Survivor 50 for me, as the finale is five days after my 20th birthday. He laughs. The least you could do now is win Big Brother 28.
I start writing my thesis on The Evolving Characterization of Survivor Contestants at UMass Boston, and get chosen to present my thesis at the Undergraduate Literature Conference at Stonehill College. I present it again at my own university, after which I’m noticed by I then get recommended for the honors program to elaborate on it. I get hired full time at Underground Games.
I’m sitting in the audience of the Survivor 51 premiere. I’m sitting in the audience of the Survivor 51 premiere. And next to me is my friend Eric and his fiancée Gina, as we watch him compete in Survivor 51. He leans over to me and asks “Is this punk?” Hell yeah, brother. I get to share this moment with him, celebrating his highs and booing his opponents. He’s made it. We’ve made it. I tell him next fall it’ll be my turn.
Survivor has given me so much in the last eight years. Without Survivor, I wouldn't have the community, the career, the character I have today. Jeff says history is Survivor's greatest asset, and my past, present, and future with Survivor is mine. The first episode of Survivor 51 is incredible - one of the best premiere's we've had in a long time. But what is even more incredible is the world of Survivor that's been built in the last twenty-six years. No matter who wins Survivor 51, I'm grateful for this amazing night and this amazing community.